Ever wondered what it’s really like to date someone significantly older than you?
More and more couples have been happy to open up about their age-gap relationships – celebrities and everyday people alike – including reality TV stars Ry and Philippa who have recently been sharing their love story on Channel Seven show Bride & Prejudice.
Philippa, 39, claimed in a recent interview that critics are “just jealous” of her 21-year-old “young stallion” fiancé, Who magazine reports.
But how does it really work being with someone 10, 20 or 30 years older?
Well, a recent Reddit thread posed that exact question to men. Men who are married to an older women, how has your experience been over the years?
Here is what they said.
When the bubble bursts
“I dated a lovely woman that was exactly twice my age. I was 25 and she was 50. She had three grown children, two of which were older than I. Eventually I realised that while I had a damn good life, I was not happy,” one person wrote.
“Age is not just a number. It eventually gets to the point where you can see the huge difference. I got tired of the mum jokes and I was totally out of my element when her kids visited. Sexually, we were great at first, but that changed quickly as she went through menopause. She was no longer interested in sex and I was a raging 30-year-old by then.
“When I was getting closer to 40, I realised that she just couldn’t keep up with the things I wanted to do in life. After 13 years I said it was time we parted ways.”
Can be frustrating
“My [partner] is nine years older than me. The main difference is finance and career. She has a career and makes six figures, whereas I make about 1/5 what she does,” was another response.
“The first thing I noticed about being with an older woman is that they know what they want in bed so the sex is mind blowing. The negative is that she has nine more years of life on me, where she’s had to figure her life out, but still expects me to be on her level. It can be frustrating.”
“I’m 33 and just married my 53 year old wife this year. Our total time together is about three years,” one man revealed.
“We are both in decent shape, like to hike, scuba dive, kayak, and veg out to Netflix. We just click really well and we are on the same page with finances, it just works.
“We both think about her getting older. I’ll get there when I get there. Until then, this is great and I’m glad I had enough sense to marry an amazing woman.”
Pros and cons
“Pros: If you find yourself clueless about life, it might be nice to have a relationship with someone with more experience and have life more figured out. It’s hard to imagine what if I moved into a house with someone who was just as clueless about living in the real world as I was,” was another response.
“Cons: Chances are you will have to slow your pace of life down to match her age, rather than the other way around. You may find yourself having more of a caregiver type of love.”
Parents not happy
“I’m 21, dating a woman 25 years older than me. Been dating since I was 18, and plan on proposing early next year,” another revealed.
“She’s more self conscious with the age difference than I am, but it’s not a big deal for either of us (especially after three years). All of our friends are great and no one is judgmental.
“Unfortunately, my parents were not so pleased with my decision to date an older woman, so my relationship with them has been… unstable, for lack of a better word.
“I guess the only hard part was decisions regarding the future. She’s already had children and doesn’t want more, even has a grandchild. I wanted children but I’m not so sure that’s what God has in mind for me.”